behavior
Be compassionate and communciate effectively and make the most of the holidays with the developmentally disabled
The holidays are a time for families to come together and in all families this brings a certain amount of stress. For families with children with special needs this can be compounded by sharing our children with friends and family that may have spent little time with them. For many parents this alone is cause for major stress and tension. The holidays are a wonderful, magic time for all our children. If you are a family member that is given the opportunity to spend time with our children, try to set aside your discomfort and make this a time to learn more about our amazing children and the lives that we lead. If you are uncomfortable you must understand that we are.
Our children act, look and behave differently and most of us have them in a world that understands this. Holiday gatherings will bring together people who are uncomfortable around our children or who simply have not had the opportunity to get to know them. I hope to share some thoughts that might ease the tension for everyone.Our children love the holidays as much as any other child. They delight in the sights and sounds, they love having family around, they want presents as much as the next child. But, when our children are excited and happy they will be loud, they will holler at inappropriate times, they will throw their limbs around. They will do this at church, in restaurants, at fancy gatherings…if this embarrasses you do not show it. Do not be embarrassed by how our children express delight. Be proud of them and hold your head high when their happy sounds disrupt.
Communicate to children in a manner that is age-appropriate. Just because a child does not communicate in the way most of us do does not mean that they do not hear or understand you. Speak to a toddler like a toddler, a teenager like a teenage, an adult like an adult. Do not speak loudly or slowly unless they are deaf or ask you to slow down. Allow plenty of time for response…our children usually need extra time to process your comments and respond.
Some children have behavioral issues that are a result of their diagnosis, such as autism. You may see our children meltdown and you will see us handle it the way we know is best. Do not judge our children’s behavior or our response. Our children are not misbehaving in the way you might think…they respond to situations in a way that is inappropriate because they do not process the situation the way we do. They are not spoiled or being bratty…they are doing the best they can and we will care for them they best way we know how.
If you only take one thing from this post let it be this…if you are lucky enough to experience any of the situations I have listed above then understand that this is a very good day for the family. It means their child isn’t in the hospital, isn’t laid out by a seizure, or isn’t too medically fragile to be with others. It means we haven’tasked you to change a diaper, administer meds, handle a feeding or give up sleep to help them through the night. It means our children are alive. That they are healthy and happy and thriving. And that is a blessing that families like mine will never, ever take for granted!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM RUBYSOUP TO ALL THE EXTRAORDINARY PARENTS RAISING WONDERFUL CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS!!
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National Vaccine Information Center (NVIC)
