care provider
The difficulties and rewards of using respite care for a disabled child
We do not use any agency or state provided services for Quincy. Rob and I are raising her on our own without help. We do this because we value our privacy, we value the privacy of our children, and because we believe that is how children, all children regardless of their ability, should be raised. Parents get the occasional night out with some help from a sitter, but the raising of children is their responsibility. This is not a judgement on those who have chosen to use regular care providers (or sitters) with their children. Sometimes it’s a necessity. People find themselves single parents or have to work odd hours and they must have help, just as they would use daycare for their otherwise healthy kids. I did not use daycare or preschool for my other children, either. It’s just a choice that we made and in no way would I claim that it is right or wrong. It’s just our way.
As our kids grow older my husband and I have come to realize that we do need an occasional afternoon away from all our daily life. But with Quincy’s special needs we cannot just call up a sitter. Someone who comes into our home must have the physical ability to lift and transfer Quincy, must know how to communicate with her, feed her and assess her needs. My other kids are old enough to help translate much of what Quincy needs, but there are few people in our lives that have any idea how to feed her or even give her a proper drink of water.
I have been so lucky to be blessed with a few select people who help us out. I usually try to recruit the special ed aides from the school who have spent the most amount of time with her. Their jobs are usually not high-paying and they are always looking to supplement their income in the summer, so it’s often a nice mix. I do not use care providers through an agency. For us, it is not an option to bring a stranger into our home. I have concerns regarding the personnel screening processes and the overall quality of care that I have seen from the agencies in our community. Maybe I just haven’t found the right agency yet.
Last night my husband and I had a rare date and it was a sweet moment. I like to look at my life in a positive light. When we sat across from one another at the dinner table, sharing a bottle of pinot grigio and holding hands, I noticed other couples who seemed almost bored. I guess the bright side to having so few opportunities to do something as simple as having dinner together make us appreciate and savor the moment more than most.
I am so thankful to have a dear friend in my life who I can completely trust my with children and I will never take her for granted. Having moments like the one last night are just too important and would not be possible with a true, trusted caregiver.
Categories
National Vaccine Information Center (NVIC)
