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Caregiver strength and happiness

As I move through this life, raising Quincy and my other children, being a responsible member of my community, advocating for safer vaccines in Washington, and all the other things that come my way, I am occasionally asked if I rely on a strong spirituality for my strength.  I guess some people hold to the idea that those of us who have been faced with tragedy and misfortune and recover with our happiness intact must rely on spiritual strength to help them along the way.  The answer is that I do not have a strong spiritual base…I have a faith that is all my own and not dictated by any specific Church or group.  My strength comes from my foundation and my stubbornness to not let crappy things get me down.

I believe in three basic principles; Karma, Fate and Shit Happens.  I find comfort in the idea that Karma will straighten out life…bless those who are good and take appropriate action on those who have done wrong.  I believe that Fate plays a big role in the cards we are dealt.  Fate sets up the circumstances that will test the strength of our character, the strength of our bonds and the strength of our commitments.  I don’t think Fate is necessarily good or bad, but is more of a random pop quiz in our lives.  Finally, I am a walking billboard for Shit Happens. 

I don’t really see the shit happening as the key to personal development as much as how we handle the shit.  We can be bitter, angry, resentful, let it destroy our relationships and our happiness or we can get over it, move on, stick together, find something to smile about.  That being said, I am completely driven by the shit that has happened to me.  It drives me to make sure it doesn’t happen to any other family, it drives me to hold policymakers accountable for bad policy and to improve our systems, it drives me to channel my anger into positive change.

I want to teach my children to be strong and happy despite the crap that they will encounter in life.  I want to teach them to stand up for injustice and to give of themselves to their communities.  I want them to know they are blessed to have a happy family and to strive for that when they become adults.  Life is too short to get bogged down by the bad things that happen to us.

Tags: caregiver, caregiver happiness, caregiver health