ramp van
The adventures and disappointments of traveling with a disabled child
I neglected rubysoup while I was away on vacation and am feeling bad about that. It was a very busy trip…would have been busy for any family, but add the challenges of traveling with a disabled child and it was crazy. Funny thing is, we vacation to rest and relax but find ourselves facing more stress and challenge than normal being away from home and all the things we need to make our lives easier. I often wonder if, in the long run, it’s worth the effort?
One thing I do know is that all my kids enjoy traveling and exploring. My husband and I do all that we possibly can to make sure our vacations are fun and stress-free for them. I wonder at what point in life you begin making that effort for yourselves? My children are still young and it’s important for them to have fun and experience the carefree nature of vacation. I guess the grown-up version will have to wait a while.
As usual, the best laid plans often fall to pieces. Since we chose to fly and use a rental car we knew we would add complication to our travels. Not having the ramp van would be challenging and in order for things to work we had to rent a vehicle we knew we could lift Quincy in and out. We could have rented an accessible van, but the irony is they are excessively expensive and we were on a budget. Anyway, we arranged to rent a Tahoe, which we knew from experience would have enough space for the three kids, all of Quincy’s equipment and supplies and was manageable for lifting her in and out of. Problem was, what we reserved and what we got weren’t the same. We got an SUV that was smaller with barely enough room for all our gear. Additionally, it was a clunker and all the warning lights started flashing about 100 miles into our drive. Finally, to cap it off, the rear liftgate broke and couldn’t be opened so we had to load and unload wheelchairs and gear out the side doors. This was a ridiculous amount of work! We finally pulled the plug halfway through our trip, changed our plans, returned to Seattle and gave the car back. Thankfully, the rental company was horrified and slashed our bill down so much we almost got the vehicle for free.
This put a real damper on our plan for Disneyland. We realized we had planned things that we simply couldn’t do. It was hot, we didn’t have a vehicle and we were tired. We were depressed that we had lost the ability to do what we wanted to do and were being forced to make plans based on what we physically able to do. Anyway, my husband and Quincy flew home…back to the quiet of Alaska and where all of Quincy’s equipment was that makes life easy with her. I took the two younger kids to Disneyland on my own. It was bittersweet. It was fun to share that experience with them but sad that their father couldn’t be a part of it. I did learn immediately that Quincy would not have enjoyed Disneyland in July. It was hot, crowded, and busy and there was little she could have seen or done with the crowds like they were. If Disneyland is something she should see, we need to take her in the off-season. It would have been a disaster to take her even if we had been able to.
So, we live and learn. Living with Quincy is a daily learning experience, that we know. We have learned to assess challenges and accept those that we know are just too big for us to overcome. We have matured in that way. We used to push through anything and be unwilling to accept our limitations. We know better and know that for our own peace of mind and physical health, as well as Quincy’s, there are things that we are better off just not tackling. No apologies, no excuses, no guilt…we will do what we can and if it becomes too hard, too difficult, too stressful, we have learned to let it go.
The two weeks we spent together on vacation were a blast. The week we spent apart was done simply for the benefit of our children. All my children were happy and fulfilled. As parents, we did the best we could to make our kids happy and I know we succeeded. I also know it is damn good to be home…maybe now I can get some rest!!
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National Vaccine Information Center (NVIC)
