trust
To be effective, caregivers must build and protect a relationship of trust
I have a great deal of respect for anyone who chooses to focus their career on working with the disabled…it is rarely something anyone does for the high salary or the glamour. For the most part folks who work with the developmentally disabled have big hearts and genuine desire to make a difference in the lives of others. However, all the good intentions in the world will not replace proper training.
Proper training isn’t just about the use of adaptive equipment, medical equipment, or administering meds, but must also include disability awareness and sensitivity. I have noticed that often this seems to be lacking. Caregivers, be it therapists, teachers, personal care attendants or even therapeutic recreation instructors must create trust with those that they are working with…they must create trust and they must protect that trust. Children who cannot communicate or use their bodies to protect themselves or control themselves must feel completely safe in the hands of those they rely on. If you betray that trust you will have broken a bond that may never be repaired.
I have seen Quincy shut down on people quicker than you can flip a light switch. As soon as she is put in a situation that scares her or hurts her she is simply finished. More than once over the years we have had to replace therapists because we know all too well that once Quincy doesn’t trust someone she simply will not work for them.
Last week an adaptive ski instructor took a young client down a particularly difficult run at our ski resort and dumped him. The instructor’s general attitude was that of a typical, healthy young man…no pain, no gain. It’s not fun if you don’t push the envelope. I wonder if that instructor has ever strapped himself into a bi-ski, strapped down his arms so he couldn’t use them, put himself entirely at the mercy of some hot-shot instructor who thought it would be cool to jump into a black diamond run and possibly dump him? I doubt it.
The developmentally disabled process experiences differently than the rest of us. Their trust is built differently, their fear is felt differently, and their ability to recover from something frightening is different. You must understand that trust is everything and it should not be taken lightly…it must be protected and respected.
Rob and I have never, ever had an accident with Quincy in the bi-ski and I truly doubt we ever will. We are too well-trained, too cautious, too overly-protective and, most importantly, we absolutely understand that if we scare her we may never get her back on the mountain again and that would be heartbreaking for all of us.
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